


Climbing the Mountain of Obliviousness

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Mickey Is A Paranoid Big Brother, Mickey Is Clueless, Mickey Thinks Emil Wants Sara, Sara As Wingwoman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-03 01:31:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11521722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: Visiting the Crispinos was always fun.  Emil liked to get to Italy as often as he could without Michele losing his tenuous grip on sanity and beating Emil up.  Usually, he invited himself – not without calling and asking first, but it was his idea for him to go visit.This time was different.  This time, Sara had called him and invited him to come with them on a two-week road trip.  “There’s bound to be the perfect chance for you to finally get Michele to figure out what the hell is going on.”Emil accepted without hesitation, and joined planning sessions over Skype for the next three months.  Michele got all snarly about it when Sara told him she’d invited Emil, but as the invitation was already accepted, he decided not to be rude and uninvite Emil.  They were friends, after all.





	Climbing the Mountain of Obliviousness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Halrloprillalar (prillalar)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prillalar/gifts).



Attempt One: Sara “accidentally” booked two rooms with one bed each. She then informed them that they didn’t have any two-bed rooms available for the night. Naturally, being the only girl, she should get one of the beds to herself. Yes, Michele was her brother. Yes, it would still be weird to share a bed with him. Emil, you weren’t planning on hooking up, were you?

Emil had no problem with sharing a bed with Michele.

Michele then accused him of engineering this in the hopes of getting to share a bed with Sara. Emil gave him a very unimpressed look. “You’d never let that happen. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Exactly. I am never letting that happen.”

“Michele, Sara is twenty-two. Almost twenty-three. It’s not your job to let her do anything. She’s perfectly capable of deciding for herself who she shares a bed with.”

“I know.” Michele sat on the bed. “That doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Maybe you should find someone yourself. That way you could distract yourself from worrying about Sara until she asks you for your opinion or your help.”

“And after one conversation with Sara, who’d want to date me?”

Emil burst into laughter. “You’d be surprised.”

“You’re just saying that so you can get me out of your way to Sara. Shut up.” Michele got in bed, facing away from Emil, and didn’t respond to anything else Emil said.

 

Attempt Two: This one wasn’t exactly planned. Emil just happened to notice that there was a frayed cable on the elevator. He quietly pointed it out to Sara, who immediately volunteered to run down to the store and get them some alcohol, if they’d be sweethearts and take her bags to their room and she’d come get them when she got back.

Sure enough, the cable snapped as Michele and Emil rode the elevator. Thanks to safety measures, the cable was clamped after only falling a short distance, but it meant that Michele and Emil were trapped between floors. Michele let out a groan and texted Sara while Emil hit the emergency button.

“It’ll be an hour or two while they get all the rescue equipment and services in place,” Emil told Michele. “Get comfortable and wait it out. That’s about all we can do.”

“How are you so calm about this?” Michele grumbled as he took a seat in the middle of the elevator. “Shouldn’t we try to escape?”

“Nah. Too much chance of us making things worse.” Emil sat beside Michele. “I go bungee jumping and skydiving and stuff all the time. You should come with me next time I go bungee jumping! Or mountain climbing. It’s fun.”

“And if I come you’ll be able to convince Sara to do it?”

“Sara’s a big girl, she can entertain herself for a few hours while we do something fun without her. Somehow she doesn’t strike me as an extreme sports fan…”

“And I do?”

Emil shrugged. “Is it wrong of me to want to share my hobbies with you?”

“No, but… oh, I get it. This is your plan to kill me or hurt me badly enough that I can’t stop you from hooking up with Sara.”

“You are so paranoid! No, this has absolutely nothing to do with Sara! If I wanted you dead, I’d have said you should go cliff diving with me!”

Mickey glared at him, not appreciating the joke, so Emil held up his hands and sat back, giving his friend time to chill. By the time he was ready to try again, the rescue team had showed up.

 

Attempt Three: The last day of the road trip, Sara found a carnival and suggested going. While they were there, Emil suggested a trip on the Ferris Wheel. By now, Emil was getting incredibly frustrated and desperate. If he didn’t manage to make this happen now… he was giving up. He loved Michele, but Michele couldn’t be this dense, could he? So dense that after everything the past two weeks, he still thought Emil wanted Sara?

Apparently he could, because every ride, he made sure to sit between Sara and Emil if possible, or if the seats were for two, Sara and Emil were in different seats. He’d sit with either, more often with Sara to prevent strange men from sitting beside her, but sometimes Sara would take a seat with a strange girl to make Michele sit with Emil. At least if she was with a girl, Michele didn’t seem to mind so much.

Sara dragged them to the Ferris Wheel. Michele was the first one into the bench. Sara winked at Emil. “I really, really need to go to the bathroom! I’m sorry. Emil, go ahead, I’ll meet you back here?” She didn’t wait for an answer before running off, so Emil sat beside Michele.

Michele was halfway to his feet. Emil grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. “Sara’s a big girl. She hasn’t needed help going to the bathroom in years, I am absolutely certain.”

“She’s all alone! What if someone…”

“Mickey, sit DOWN.” Emil jerked his arm a little more roughly than necessary. “If someone hits on her, she can say no if she’s not interested. If they won’t let it go, there are security guards. If she is interested, she’d be pissed at you for interfering. She’ll be FINE, just ride this stupid thing with me.”

“You’re okay with it if she’s interested?”

And that was it. Emil was officially done with this idiot. “Sara is a good friend and I love her like a sister. I’m not interested in her romantically. I have never been interested in her romantically.”

“What about the time I caught you checking out her butt?”

Emil had forgotten about that. It was three years ago, he'd never done it again, why did Michele even remember it still? “She’s safe. I was kind of going through a bit of an identity crisis after discovering I prefer guys’ butts. We’ve known each other twelve years and you still haven’t even figured out I’m gay?”

Michele stared at him, mouth hanging open, blinking like he’d never seen Emil before. It would’ve been cute if Emil weren’t so frustrated with the whole situation. “The only person I’ve ever really seen you interested in is Sara! How was I supposed to know?”

“I’ve never been interested in Sara! God, my life would be so much easier if it were Sara I was interested in, an overprotective brother is way easier to get around than terminal obliviousness. Why did I have to fall for the stupid Crispino?”

“What’s so wrong with Sara?”

“She’s not YOU!”

Once again, Michele was completely speechless. He sat there, staring at Emil, this time not even blinking, half the trip around the wheel. “Me?”

“Yes, you, you bloody idiot.” Emil sighed. “You’re so dense.”

“But you…” Michele burst into laughter. “Anyone else who treats Sara the way you do, I’d have backed down. Gotten out of the way. I couldn’t stand the thought of you with Sara because I was jealous. It was easy enough to hide under my typical protectiveness, but this is… does Sara know about this?”

“Yes. Why do you think Sara invited me on this road trip?”

Michele started laughing harder. “Well until just now I thought it was so the two of you could hang out! I am such an idiot.”

“Yes. Yes you are.”

“But you… love me anyway?”

“I’ll be honest, I was so close to giving up… but yes. I love you anyway.”

"So... mountain climbing? I've always wanted to go..."


End file.
